http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/ My Thoughts Relating to a Great Canadian Music Career en-us Nucleus CMS v3.24 © Weblog http://backend.userland.com/rss http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog//nucleus/nucleus2.gif http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/ http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=14
Thanks so much, though, to everyone who offered their thoughts and hopes for my little skin cancer scare. It was a close call. I can't deny that. It was a bloody mess, too, with all the flesh cutting and whatnot. Ruined two awesome shirts with all the slicing and dicing, already! Oy! I'm a bachelor, for Pete's sake. I'm not supposed to have those blood-remover detergents handy. I have a zillion follow-up appointments for the next couple of years, but all in all, things couldn't have been easier and more decisively fixable.

The game ball reference is there because I've recently started thinking about milestones, and how hard it is for most people to mark them. In baseball or golf it's easy. You keep the ball, whether it's your first big league hit, or your first eagle. You keep the ball, and write the milestone on it. I kept the strings from my first gig after walking out of my cave, ten years after high school. My friend Cheri was thoughtful enough to throw them into a picture frame, which I never would have done, and bang, a game ball.

I think we should all do that, in one way or another... Unless the thing is really big, like, the first car you totalled. It's symbolic anyway, so I'm thinking of buying a whole bunch of baseballs or golf balls, and actually recording some of this stuff. I've got a Sharpie, like every good little musician should, so I should actually use it for something useful before it dries out.

Now, the writer in me wants to delete this next paragraph, but the webmaster in me is screaming, "content!" and things along the lines of, you said the blog was fer the music stuff, so, I'll compromise and just mention that I have clearly in mind, many of the game balls I'd like to see next... Well, let's look at my goal sheet. I actually do, in fact, have one. On deck are things like:

"First online review from a third-party site, non-community-based."
"First gig played with new flagship band."
"First day selling more than 100 songs online."
"First top ten rating on Google for a top ten keyword phrase."
All leading to things like "First Royalty Cheque", and "First airplay on a non-college station," etc.

Happy Holidays!]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=14 Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:57:25 -0500 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=13
Melanoma is the most deadly of the skin cancers, because it's the one digs down, and once it digs down a little deeper into the skin, cells can break loose, and you wind up with cancer in your lungs, brain, wherever else.

The scale is, .75 mm or less, and it's still on the surface, and very treatable. Ideally, you don't get even this far, but if you do, you're still ok, for the most part. Higher than .75, and it starts to dig in a little deeper, and you start having a higher and higher risk of it spreading into a node, and beyond.

In my case, they caught it at .37, so I'm in good shape, fortunately, but still, not .05, or .10, but .37.

Man, I had one doctor's appointment in the last 20 years, and she got me into a relationship with this great dermatologist. With how busy I am now, I can't say I would have sought out a dermatologist any time in the next few years. I dunno.

Geez, Luigi. If I hadn't, and she hadn't... This could very easily have been the end of me. Easily. But like so many times in the past, a little bit of luck has kept me alive for the foreseeable future.

Now I have surgery next week to attain 'clear margins', or something like that, and a commitment for some follow-ups, and even a chest x-ray to be safe, so I feel safe enough, but it's safety that relies on news from the experts over the course of a few weeks.

Ok, can I get back to talking about the friggin' music soon, PLEEEASE?
]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=13 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 02:05:42 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=12
I've just gotten used to the fact my life is pretty easy. It took a lot of training, but over time, I've trained my mind to default to things like, "my life is easier than most people's", and "I've got a pretty sweet deal here". MAN, having those as default launching points for thought patterns when you're in a PERCEIVED crisis is friggin' awesome. Just imagine that, if you don't do it already. What's the next thought after that? Well, if my life is easy, then all i would have to do is... Omg, lol, as opposed to, "my life fucking sucks", which leads to nothing productive. I hear "how the hell am i going to turn this around", or "how long until I get what i want here?" Yeesh. There's a whole book there. Take it if you want it. I'd call it, "Life is Hard. Life is Easy. Making Your Way Before You Start", and then I'd call Oprah.

I repeated that paragraph from my last post because of this:

Dude, I have or had fucking skin cancer. Right now, I don't even know. I had it for sure, and my dermatologist removed it for me, but now they found out for sure it was melanoma, so the whole team kicks in, and I'm not 100% sure what to think. The following two paragraphs are from an email I sent to a friend today:

"2007 6:31:37 PMSubject: RE: seriously? DIV {MARGIN:0px;}No, I'm fine. It was an internal battle there for a bit, and nothing to do with you. At the time, I was faced with two choices. It was still hitting me that I was just diagnosed with fucking skin cancer. They were saying things like, no big deal, bad is .75, and this is/was .37, but at the same time, they're talking about surgery and chest x-rays. I was prepared for the news, but still... So, two choices. Either sulk about it, or rejoice in the fact I'm happy with what I'm doing in life, and this little reality check is just like any other checkpoint to me. Put your head down and keep moving. You're doing the right things with your life.

I wound up with a hybrid mood, and ended up enjoying working for awhile in High Park on my way back from Burger King, and now I'm recharging the device and I might go work in the pub for another hour or so before rehearsing. That's what's really on my mind right now. Just not feeling in any way social right now. ="

I post this to illustrate, and emphasize as much as I can, how unbelievably helpful it is to approach things in life from the default perspective of "my life is easy, especially when compared to others". It creates a default mood when faced with unusual problems, and even when you don't know what to think, the first sense you get is one of an expectation that things are fine, you just have to remember why.

On my way home today, I also saw a guy risking his life in an electric wheelchair because there were no ramps on the sidewalk, and he had to cross the Humber River on the Queensway, which is pretty much like a highway right there here in Toronto.

I also saw a guy with a hook for a hand. No shit. I'm not making this up. Literally while I was dialing my dermatologist back, a guy walked in front of me with a pirate-like three-pronged hook for a hand.

I saw a few other things after that, as well, but the capper was the three legged dog that couldn't piss on the wall he wanted to, because it couldn't lift the friggin' leg that wasn't missing! You can't make this shit up! To a dog, that's like, dude, I don't ask much out of life, only to sniff some crotches, sleep when I can, be really happy around people every time I see them, and mark a little territory here and there. To a dog, I mean, losing the leg is one thing, shit, but also the humiliation of walking down Bloor Street without being able to hit your desired target? Dude, my life is easy.

Anyway, kidding aside, the fact that my DEFAULT position is, "everything's great, so now what", instead of, "my life is crazy hard, so now what's this next shitty thing", ... Ugh. I ... Can't express it enough. I have songs about this. Check 'em out on eyeofthemonkey.com.

Without that thinking, no doubt I'd be drinking 20-proof beer right now, and calling my guy for some weed or hash, or whatever. I know this from experience. Years of it.

Instead, I'm sitting in my local pub... Hey, don't laugh! Well, ok, that's pretty funny. I'm only drinking light beer, though, eh? And I'm working. In every sense of the word. I'm working.
]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=12 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 02:02:09 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=11
Yeah, right. Not this time, buck-o. I'm blogging this to make sure I DON'T do that, like I often have in the past. Ok, fine. Those days weren't squandered. They were spent thinking and learning... And playing video games. And smoking weed. But I thought a lot when I smoked weed. Whatever.

Anyway, lessons from a workaholic? Ha! I've never been looked on as much of a hard worker in the past. I've had my moments, especially when I was working in the restaurant biz, but overall, my life has looked more lazy-bones-ish than productive, to the untrained eye, anyway. Is a monk's life a waste of time, or that guy in the B.C. comics who sits on top of the mountain his whole life? Are those wastes of time? Maybe, if your top value is productivity, but when your top value is undersanding... lol, shit, that's another blog altogether.

What I'm trying to wind my way towards here, today, is a quick discussion about how I've been dealing with the work load I've taken on. I brought it in to my life consciously, but I'm still amazed at how well I've maintained my general mood through this whole thing. I normally would have back-slid by now, but a whole wealth of strategies have kept me in check during some of my wandering moments.

For example, I used to be afraid of work. I was an eighties kid, and I saw stories about greed and workaholism, and I saw people burn out, and die young because they worked too hard. All those feel-good movies of the eighties had a dad who worked too hard, so he didn't have time for their kids. At least, these were the things I noticed.

I wanted to avoid that, and to complicate things, I developed some bad habits with school work and my household chores that created bad vibes, and crap like that. I even used to think things like, why the hell would i want to do that job? There'll just be another one afer that. What's the point?

Later on, i developed a healthier outlook, when i recognized how a person really ought to have something to contribute to society. That leads to certain sacrifices, and offering up your time is one of them. Fine. I dig that, especially now that i understand more fully what it really means, and I've time to reflect, honestly, on what I'm willing to give up to achieve what I want to achieve.

Now that I've gotten into this super time management mode recently, I'm able to reflect on my old views about work, and more specifically, my old fears about work. I'm not so afraid of being that guy who works non-stop, for a bunch of reasons.

For starters, on the most fundamental level, i've learned how to actually enjoy the work. For example, instead of responding to stimulus from the outside world, for the most part, everything I'm doing these days is directly from a written plan. I can enjoy it, because I have a stronger sense of control over my freedom, which for me, has historically been my highest value of all. I couldn't give two shits about security, or finding a loving partner, but fuck with my ability to do what I want, when I want, and we've got a problem. There seems to be a need for flexibility here, but in general, you're beter off creating a plan for your life and then executing it, than you are wandering with just some general ideas, and reacting to the influences around you. I know this: if you don't have a plan for your life, someone else has one for you.

Similarly, I've managed to keep in mind that i could walk away, from everything, and I mean everything, at any time, and mean it. I can SEE myself walking away if I have to. After all, my expenses are still low, and I could survive for quite awhile with my current lifestyle without a job. My lifestyle is minimalist(ic?) at the best, anyway. I mean, I need a new tire on my bike right now, but I live downtown, so i could walk and forget the bike, too, if I wanted. I've really set myself up pretty well for this looming, big inevitable push towards the next stage in my life, which I actually think started already when I posted my Innies vs. Outies thing a few months ago, and joined Facebook/MySpace.

I've also been aware that time is just a math problem, and if you feel like you don't have 'time' for something, either make time for it, or let it go. Don't spin your wheels about it. Ask better questions, like, how could I make time for it? Do I really want it? How long from now until I can create that time? How can I keep patient until then? I know that whatever's going on, you can always blare a whistle, call an all stop, and perform a re-assessment. ANY time. If a paramedic or a soldier can do it on the job, I think I can handle it. Which reminds me, perspective is key as well.

I've just gotten used to the fact my life is pretty easy. It took a lot of training, but over time, I've trained my mind to default to things like, "my life is easier than most people's", and "I've got a pretty sweet deal here". MAN, having those as default launching points for thought patterns when you're in a PERCEIVED crisis is friggin' awesome. Just imagine that, if you don't do it already. What's the next thought after that? Well, if my life is easy, then all i would have to do is... Omg, lol, as opposed to, "my life fucking sucks", which leads to nothing productive. I hear "how the hell am i going to turn this around", or "how long until I get what i want here?" Yeesh. There's a whole book there. Take it if you want it. I'd call it, "Life is Hard. Life is Easy. Making Your Way Before You Start", and then I'd call Oprah.

]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=11 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:54:05 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=10
The following started as a lets-just-purge-whatever's-on-my-mind moment, out of frustration that I hadn't blogged in weeks and weeks, and turned into a pretty refreshing session, not surprisingly. Sometimes blogging is like bucketing water off the boat. It lightens the load, and eases the stress for a time. But it seeps back in. Oh, it seeps back in... Whoops. Slipping into Lyricist Mode...

Anyway, I was going to wait and post something when i had something relevant to say about my music career, but that ain't happenin' anytime soon. FUCK. I try not to swear in my life, day-to-day, but FUCK. I mean, I've got a great day job now, but you'll see below, briefly, what my days are like. Every day. The main point for me, here, is that this IS what's happening with my music career right now. It's actually part of my artistic process, by design, to go through this kind of drawn on workload, to test how I'll handle it in the coming months and years.

I've been working 7 days per week for a few months now. We had a couple of people leave the company for various reasons, and the first time I was left to hold the bag pretty much on my own for awhile, but we eventually hired a couple of people then to help, but we kept getting busier at the same time, then another guy went down, yadda, yadda, yadda... I'm hoping it's not a cycle that will continute, or worse, the nature of the industry.

At any rate, the guys have finally hired a couple of people recently, so I can have a real weekend again soon, but as it stands today, I've had maybe 3 or 4 full days off since last winter. I honestly don't know how I've managed it. I guess I do actually like the job, and i'm not just lying to myself about that, or there's no way in hell I would have put up with it for so long.

So, I've been both very happy with my follow-throuh and appalled at the same time, by the following math:

8am - alarm goes. Start working as the web host sales and support guy. Work through lunch, don't stop until work is finished af 6:30, if lucky. But no, work ain't done yet. I've still got an hour's worth of .ca domain names to register when I get back. Back from where?

6:45pm-8:30pm - Go for bike ride to avoid decay. Go somewhere I can sit down and work like I am now, park, restaurant, whatever. Don't waste a moment. Therefore, listen to audio books while travelling, or try to make some phone calls. Take side streets on bike, since I'm technically trying to do more than one thing at a time.

8:30pm-9:30 grab a beer and finish day job tasks, while again doing two things at once if I have the brain power.

9:30-11:30+pm, add friends on MySpace Page, as that seems to be the only qualified traffic I can generate without a major Search Engine Optimization push on Eyeofthemoonkey.com, which mathematically, I really don't have time for right now anyway. Do it right, which means sending a greeting with my adds, and responding to people's comments. Laugh off the idiots who bitch about spam. Dream about having staff to help. Interns! I just thought of interns! Is there such a thing for songwriters?

11:30pm-1pm, Rehearse, because I've got a couple of pretty good gigs coming up. The second one, on the 29th, requires me to have a two hour set, which I've never really done before. Hey, actual prrogress for me, and not just my employer!

1pm-2:30pm. Another day gone without advancing my own stuff much. Why am i doing this again? Oh, yeah, web hosting is good for me, so this is a reallly good day job. Hold on, because that 80 hour work week is almost over...

That's it. So, here I am, 34 years old, still not actually creating my business, my contribution, but I believe I'm.... Getting.... A little bit... Closer... So I keep going. Soon, I'll have a little time back. Soon, I can do those things in my head that will really take my life to the next level. Don't forget the things that are going welll, and it's not like I've stopped learning or anything, and i'm going to have a two hour set now to draw on, which is awesome! But I'm still not selling any CD's, and i'm still not drawing many people to my shows. Someday.... Just keep working...

]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=10 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 01:48:30 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=8
It was probably almost a full ten years ago now, when I first started writing things like, "the war is over", "I'm going to stop fighting myself", and "I'm turning in my guns and walking away," that kind of thing.

I pretty much knew at the time, there would be flare-ups, and border skirmishes along the way, but the hope was that I really could just put down the weapons and walk away. People don't seem to work like that, however. It turns out momentum, and faulty wiring are really tough things to overcome. So, got it. Momentum and bad wiring can be tough to turn around... I guess I could've just asked the Leafs for their input on the subject. Oh! Zing!

So, anyway, here I am, all this time later, after all the years of reminding myself, "the war is over. The war is over. The war is over," thinking things more often, like, "Hey, the war really is over". A few days ago I caught myself thinking something about, my inner demons, if there are such things, are now more like just one big inner Eeyore. The amazing thing to me about that was, through it all, I've never been a really negative guy at all, so labelling something within me a name like Eeyore, seems to presuppose to me that I don't identify with that behavior at all.

I suppose the proper analogy all this time would have been, after a war, it simply takes time to heal the wounds, and re-open the borders for the exchange of culture, and goods and services. It takes a little time for families to reunite, and the bombed out structures to be rebuilt.

After all, we're not just soldiers who can put down a gun and say no. We are nations unto ourselves, graced with the same diplomatic intracricies as the United Nations itself. And some conflicts run deeper than others. In retrospect, I guess I should be amazed it only took a decade!]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=8 Wed, 18 Jul 2007 08:56:28 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=7
I've come up with this great scheme now for my live performances, and I relly, really want to start working on it, but if I were to just drop everything and dive into it, there would be one problem in particular with my group of web sites. The problem would be about how many songs are posted. I want a better range of my tunes to be up, so other mucisians, who might be interested in joining forces, band-wise, or people who want to hear more... Y'know. There's just not enough divesity up right now, so I'm posting 30 songs in thirty days!

I'm already on day 3, and it's been going ok. Had some trouble with my new computer (don't buy a Roland US-122 if you're on dual-core, groan), so I'm doing it on my old one, and it took me way longer than I'd hoped to get a decent sound, and I had uninstalled Cakewalk on the old machine, so I had to find it and reinstall it, etc., etc. All things that might have stopped me before, but not now! There are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic deadlines, right? I've tamed my inner Eeyore, and i'm on the gravy train to... Graveyville. Sweet Gravyville.

The sound has been important becausse I'm using non-studio quality equipment, and it's just me and my acoustic guitar on all these tunes. I've gotta do acoustic versions of everything so I can guarantee posting so many in such a short time frame. I think I've found the right spot in my "Lab" now, to get the most out of the gear I've got. Lol, but if a truck goes by, it puts a shitload of bass into the recording.

Anyway, I'll probably get to the posting part tomorrow, so over the next few weeks, you can check out my progress at http://eyeofthemonkey.com, should you be so inclined.]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=7 Tue, 24 Apr 2007 03:39:49 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=6
Anyway, it seems a person's goals will parallel the person's abilities to reach them, so the last few years have slowly brought to my attention, that I'm ready to drop, for the forseeable future, certain words I've identified with over the years, like hermit, cave-dweller, loner, independant learner, etc., without losing my introvert super-powers. After all, being inwardly-mobile is what, I've always figured, gave me the time and space needed to become more of a lot of other words I identify with, like, creative, thoughtful, yadda, yadda, yadda.

At times, I'm almost overwhelmed by the numbers of friends most of the people on Facebook or Myspace have. I don't know how long it will take for me to become that much of an "outwardly-forceful", and whether or not I should, but I'm walking toward it anyway. It's a little scary for a simple boy like me. I guess what gets me the most is how long it would take to grow a formidable network even if I was working on it every single day. You should see Emma-Lee's myspace page these days, for those of you who know her. I was like, how the fuck did she do all this in, like, a year and a half? I had to ask her about it, and she was gracious enough to fill me in on some things, but I've promised to keep a lid on 'em for now... 'Cause she's shy. Ha!

I guess the question, then, to anyone who will listen, is, what's the secret? .... What's.... Working... For... You...? To stick with the artist theme in my posts, is it easier having a band around? Do they, like, rely on you, or what? Do you feel like your group of friends puts good pressure on you to keep moving forward? Have you got a rule in your head that says, "if I stop, I die?" Are you simply addicted to meeting new people? What's.... Working... For... You...?

Thanks, my lovelies!

As always, feel free to visit www.eyeofthemonkey.com, but my songs are posted temporarily on www.myspace.com/darrylerickson, and some older stuff on download.com. I'm also on Facebook, and expanding from there. Talk to you soon!]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=6 Fri, 13 Apr 2007 11:52:14 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=5
How does this tie into the goal of this blog? Well, I joined with the hopes, actually more of an expectation, that I'll now get better at networking and learn the give-and-take of being part of a community. The pressure's on for real, because the people I've tracked down in Facebook are all people I care about, and it matters to me what my influence, or lack thereof, in and around that community will be. In fact, this brings me to my thing for today. I dig all these people so much, that I'm realizing again for the first time in awhile, that these are the people I want to hang out with, even if it's mostly in virtual form, most of the time.

I don't think I want to ever hang out with the "commercially successful" crowd, for the most part. They're all great people, and I'll love networking with them, too, and HAVE enjoyed networking with them, but that type of crowd lacks any real connections. In other words, the people are all awesome, but they're too busy to stop and talk about anything of substance, again, for the most part. There are always exceptions, and I can think of a few right away. I guess I've just been missing that lately. I've been working too hard, maybe. Easy enough to fix with Facebook!

Anyway, feel free to picture me drunk, and slurring, I love you guys!

I've got a group of sites going, but none of them are really finished, so if you want to hear a couple of my tunes, go to http://www.myspace.com/darrylerickson, or search for a couple of my older tunes on download.com. www.eyeofthemonkey.com will be in better shape, as soon as I figure out friggin' Flash. It's hard.

Also, the world is free to comment on http://www.eyeofthemonkey.com/phpBBtest/ It ain't prettied up yet, but it works fine. You just have to register, and create whatever topic you want.]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=5 Wed, 4 Apr 2007 17:02:42 -0400 http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=4
First, this was taken at the (in)famous Balmy Beach Club. This club was the original home of the Argonaunt Rowing Club, who later became the CFL Toronto Argos. This place is full of trophys from Rowing, Rugby, etc., including a couple of Grey Cups. THIS trophy, lol, I took a picture of, because someone in the crowd that night decided to start drinking out of it. It was HER trophy after all. She had won it, I guess it was the previous summer, for an individual rowing effort of some kind that I can't quite recall correctly.
How often do you get to drink out of a cup like this?
Anyway, she passed it around, and not too many people took her up on her offer, and I thought, what the hell is wrong with you people? Someone offers you the chance to drink out of a massive victory cup, full of COLD beer (mmmm...), and you don't bite? I had to take charge of the situation, of course! I showed them all what they were missing out on, and, well, it gets a little hazy after that, but I remember I got a few recruits for her. But she was cute. In the end, I don't think needed much help.

St. Pat's was great! I even emailed a friend in Ireland. An actual Irish friend who lives there, not a friend who was just there by chance, eh? I've never had a friend in Ireland before, so that's progress, right?]]> General http://eyeofthemonkey.com/NucleusBlog/index.php?itemid=4 Mon, 19 Mar 2007 13:17:32 -0400